Friday, August 26, 2011
If you are not content with being single then you will be content.
If you are content being single, do you need another person?
This is a chicken and egg problem. How do you solve this? Rest in the Lord's providence and be content with current state regardless.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Destiny and Purpose is determined by personal desire. Desire is not a bad thing. Desire to do good is often what drives pple to achieve great thing.
I asked myself what was my desire. It was always to be do something noble. To die and leave a legacy. How then? Then I knew why I chose to teach. It was to touch and change lives. If you ask me why now, I remembered why I started in the 1st place. It may sound all cliche and stuff but it is genuine.
In recent times, I sense it even more. My volleyballers asking me to stay in volleyball CCA and not to go (hinted I might leave). My form class growing up more than ever. Not that they have become super guai and all. I can see improvements in everyone in their attitude towards studies. Even Lydia Hoon scored full marks in her test while she has been failing math all these while. It may be only 1 topic but I was so proud of her. Like a 'father'!
Jason means healer. I need to a vessel of God to bring to them hope and purpose! Heal their hearts to believe! Gtg dinner. Ciao.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I remembered when I was in University Final Year. I can almost die.
I played like most University Undergrads. I played my hearts out in my year 1 and as a result, I flunked 8 out of 16 modules. Half of my year one's modules.
I was upset and disappointed in myself and thought I shouldn't deserve this. However, I tried to take these extra modules as I went along my 2nd and 3rd year. No matter how hard I tried, I flunked some modules along the way. I was never able to clear one semester or year without failing a module.
Then came my final year, I had 8 modules. I had my final year project as well (which took up all my time at the lab, writing the 50 - 80 pages of report and so on). I had no time to study and I was left with 2 weeks before the examinations to study. What made things worse was that I had 11 days for all 8 papers. Packed back to back examination timetable.
I slept 2-3 hours daily and struggled. As soon as I finished one paper, I went back to the hostel to rest about an hour or so and I was back on the books / notes. Daily, it was a torture. I felt like a zombie. I didn't give up because I wanted to clear my University Years in the 4 years.
Did I feel like giving up ever? I did. I was living on just sheer will-power. Do I know what it feels to fail? I do. It sucked. I have not passed a single semester till this point clearing all my modules. It looked bad. Did I lose faith and hope? I did. During my last 2 papers, one in the morning and one at night, I felt like giving up because my mind was so so so tired. I felt like stopping and just sleeping. I was extremely tired (this was the 11th day of living as a zombie).
I forced myself to study and did the best I could. I could not even finish 10 tutorial revision. I did up till 5 and my brain just stopped functioning. I had to memorise another set of notes for the afternoon paper. My mind just could not understand the 6th tutorial of the earlier paper. All I did was stare and stare but my mind didnt work as I was extremely exhausted.
I felt like crying and I felt like this is hopeless. However, all I knew was God told me to trust Him. I was prepared that even if I fail then so be it but I was going to give it my best shot. I wanted to try and live without the regret that I should have.
This is my plea to all of you out there who thinks life and examinations are difficult. Do not blame the circumstances or the situations. We can make it happen. We need to hang in there.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Life's Lows mere Trifle Blows. Season of Wait & Reason not to Date. Strength in Character stems from Length of His words in my life's Chapters!
My stability & security shaken but is secured in Saviour's sovereignty & sufficiency!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Have had encounters with females and nice ones but God said no! It tore my heart up in pieces. Everything seemed so right. The mood, the timing, the personality, the proximity, the appeal... All I know is God said no!
The crux of the matter is this. Who do I wish to please? There can be many factors and people who feels that I should do this - get attached. However, there is only one that I need to please and that's God. I am not saying this is at a point of strength or victory but at a point of weakness.
Today, my pastor preached on a sermon about drawing the line. How should christians be living... Is it about obeying a set of rules, laws and standard operating procedures (SOP)? He said no because it will become legalistic. He offered 3 principles based on Daniel 3:16-18, which I will share below.
1. Pleasing God and not men
2. Personal Knowledge of God's greatness and goodness
3. Paying the price of obedience
1. Pleasing God meant that there is only one choice. When God says do not touch, I do not touch and not hover around that thing. I am not touching but I am enjoying the thing without truly touching it nor sinning. It is almost close to playing with fire but not playing. Thus, it is better to not touch at all.
2. Knowing God is able and that he wants to bless me is important as I know now He is witholding me from getting attached because He has a perfect one for me in due time. Thus, I am not to settle for the 2nd best.
3. Thirdly and finally, I need to know He is sovereign and that I need to die to self. Live with an attitude to say, "It is all in His hands". Only then can I find true peace and comfort. The more I try to hold on, the more God cannot give.
Thus, my journey has been going on for 12 years since 18. What I mean to say is that I have been single for this long and still waiting. I know there are many concerned people who are trying to get me attached and sometimes, a bit too overwhelmingly so. I will trust God for His time and His purpose for me. I have my criteria and I also know He would not force me to accept someone that I know I cannot live with (this is to Mr Bibi). Hahaha....
I will have to continually trust in His providence and know that the only thing I need to do now is to please Him and not man. Girl (whoever she may be), u just have to wait a bit longer.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Judge not lest u be judged. Let's stop all these bickering with Andy nor judge him. Let him air his views. Yes, I am irritated and am thinking of even taking down the tag box but the more you feed him, the more he feels he needs to defend.
Just leave it and let him be. I cannot stop how he thinks of me. I know I have my struggles and may not live life as it should be at times. LET GOD DEAL with me. What is my journey? At most when I go to heaven, Jesus says I do not know you. Away from me, you evildoer. Then that's my problem. There is no need for any defending nor fighting.
It is all senseless. Meaningless fighting... At most he is right and I burn in hell. My soul is not his nor anyone's except to God. Thus, I do not need to explain to him but to Him. Maybe I have offended him or cause him to have an impression then I do not know.
Maybe because I am able to talk to youths and likes to disturb others that he thinks I am some flirt. I admit I like to disturb my pupils but do note, I do disturb both boys and girls! In different manner of course. This, I am sure my form class pupils will agree.
I scold them and care for them. I also make fun of my boys and suan them till they cannot take it. For girls, I like to tease them but come on la... They are like my little girls.
I seriously don't understand and do not wish to waste my time to understand on something so meaningless. I admit I do have my struggles to work through but who does not have. I have learnt from many bad previous experiences not to thread those paths again.
Well, judge me for all I care. I cannot be bothered anyway to be upset by such a senseless attack. Terrorsim at its best! I admit I was at first very bothered but now, I am getting less and less affected because he just wishes to come on stronger each time I write something. So I am expecting another childish outburst soon enough. But oh well, just take it as it comes. I will not worry about tomorrow as there are more than enough burdens already today!
But the fact is HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW ME WELL AND HE IS JUDGING ME! That's so hilarious if you look at it in another perspective! I am now having a dig at him and showing my immaturity so judge me!
He is showing himself to be immatured, judgemental, childish and biased! While people who know me are trying to help defend me. He can do that and call me immatured and childish. So funny when you look at it from someone who is showing his own immaturity!
This is getting nowhere with the constant bickering. This is seriously getting out of hand. Maybe I shall just close the blog? Nah... Not when it might become the most famous blog for provoking thoughts!
Just thought of having a go at it and see what replies there might be once again! Haha... FUN & FURIOUS!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Lost Generation by Jonathan Reed
I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within.”
is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy.”
So in 30 years I will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that I have my priorities straight
because work is more important than family
I tell you this Once upon a time
Families stayed together
but this will not be true in my era
This is a quick fix society
Experts tell me
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.
And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it .
To understand the true meaning of this (go to this link):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA&feature=related
I asked Andy in my tag box if he would burn in hell. I asked him if he is sure of things. Seriously, I do not even know if I might be burning in hell or be asked to enter heaven's gate when the final time comes.
Lambs will be seperated from sheeps. Jesus might say He has never known you / me even though we go around professing He is Lord and God and do miracles in His name.
What makes us eventually being able to go to heaven? To obey His voice and have a relationship with God. Simple truth but to recieve revelation how to walk this journey is not easy. Also, some may fall away from Him because we rationalise, we think we know best, we choose to gratify ourselves...
Am I sure I would even last all the way? I am not sure. I am trying to be as faithful as I can and be accountable for my life. I have had moments of folly and sin (which I cannot mention here since this is a public blog). I am just praying that I can last the distance. Not that I am good but I want to and I want to try to make it. Can I make it? I wouldn't know. I hope and pray I can. Many might want me to fall but that's them. It's a journey between me and God. At most, people like my leader and cell should know.
I have come to realise we are so often to judge others and complain when people do not meet our expectations. Does it mean we are better? Does it mean we should condemn? Does it mean we should say things that are negative? No! On the countary, we should pray for them and ask God to show us how He views them through His eyes.
I know I am not perfect. I know I can fall into a condeming mood sometimes when my emotions are strained. I know I have sometimes shown ways that are very unchristian-like. I know I have so many faults and do fall into temptations. Does it make me any lesser? Do I need to prove to anyone? God knows me best and His words will bring assurance. People will judge, people will say things about me but I guess it does help me see and learn that I need to work on certain areas.
Have I thought if dying for God? I have done that years ago and my response will still be the same. I am sure if I were to die, it is easy. However, to be tortured before I die, I am not sure if I have the strength to endure. All I have been praying all these years is that if I were to ever be tested to that point, God help prepare me.
What Kind of Girl Will You Fall For? | |
 | You will fall for the cutie. You like girls with a personality. She's got to have a nice smile and a sense of humor. Although she doesn't have to be a model, she has to be that girl-next-door. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
