Sunday, March 23, 2008
Generally, I have notice this trend in many students nowadays: There are many more things I can write about but these 2 are the most pressing. Let's love one another and the environment we are in. Let's be the best we can be in our roles. Let's not settle for mediocrity. I am learning to be the best teacher I can be in my own ways. I am definately not there. There are people out there who hates me still. However, I cannot please everyone also. I will try my best to do the things that my principles guide me. Of course, if my principles are wrong, I must reflect and change la.... To my form class, 2B, work hard! I believe a lot of you have the potential to do well but a lot of you have lost the confidence...! Also, a lot of you lack the discipline and drive because of the past failures you face. Do not worry... Work harder and clear your doubts with the teachers. Do not hate the 'bad' teachers... Learn to find things to appreciate about them. Learn to love one another. I do not mean BGR love. I mean taking care of one another and caring for one another, putting aside differences and working together. I love all the classes I teach. I do get angry and I hope you all learn to be better people. Try not to irritate me as much and learn to do your best, in handing your work, forms and all things on time. Do not make me chase you all... Also, those weaker students, come and look for the teachers to study. Do not give up on yourselves and the school. I am not a saint. I cannot save everyone. The only one capable of that is God... He saved us all and make us, the ugly, unlovely, lousy .... into something worthwhile. That's why I hold this belief that all are possible to be saved. However, they must want to be saved, else noone can save them. Save them from EMO, from depression, from feeling lousy about themselves.... I am just writing a lot today because I have been feeling a lot of things recently due to the series of things I have faced in FMSS ever since I became a teacher here. It is indeed a testing yet rewarding career. The money? No way!! It's never the money... Haha... In the coporate world, I may have surbordinates but not 40 times 13 of them that make my blood boil at various times. In the 'bosses' department, there will be unhappiness at times but we work through our things professionally. Life is never perfect. It is making the most of our imperfect lives and hopefully leaving a legacy behind. All will turn to dust and disappear when I step into my coffin (as in people put me in when I die - for those whose ang mo a bit lousy one...), nothing material is left behind but the intangible things are there. When I see students appreciate me, I am happy enough... I do not even think of any gifts. When my class sang me a happy b'day song and made a card for me, I was moved to tears. Some wrote me touching letters, blog entries and so on. Thank you for appreciating me. I love you all. Even the not so lovely ones, I love you all too. You all sometimes irritate the hell out of me but I will say this: I love you all too. Try to irritate me less, k? I do not expect you all to change overnight but learn to change... I am so patient because I have been through that 'lost' road. I have gotten EMO. I have resisted working hard because I failed and lost confidence. I have also gotten into lousy relationships and came out of them hurt. I have also tasted threats in school. I have also gotten in fights (as early as primary school). I have also been rejected many times (I used to be ah gong one who don't know anything about BGR and I looked really NOOB at chasing gals). I also did not look as 'handsome' as I do now. I wore black-rimmed spectacles and was a nerd. Study la... Else, you wanna become road sweeper huh? I had leukemia and almost died but I survived it. I was ridiculed by others and suffered many emotional scars. (Gangs mah... Smoking mah... Porn mah... Occult mah... Drinking mah... Sucidal mah... Hurting self mah... Vulgarity filled language mah... - I would not say I have engaged in ALL of such things! Some I came close, some I did... You ownself guess...) Some of the above, I have seen my friends gone those ways... They suffered... Some got pregnant (gals). Some have battle scars... Some have gone to prison... Some have wasted their lives.... Life is worth living for...! Many times, we waste away our lives for we have not found what we need to live and love for. We have lost sight of the hope of life. We feel that it is to grow old, have a family then die. If things get tough, we split ways, no need for commitments... Life is not so hopeless... There is hope...! For me, it is God! I do not deny sometimes I do wish to shout out and give up! SIAN...! I have kept going after many falls... I have had many setbacks but I am still going on because I believe in what I am doing. To help many lives. They may not become christians but I wish to put hope into their lives to find meaning in what they are living this life for! Live for yourself! Live to be a better person. Live to give of your life to others who may need it more than you. There are many out there who needs you! Give hope to others. Live a life of legacy! Make a difference in your own ways. It may not be big. Look around you. There are many friends out there who you can bring hope to... They are closer than you think. Be a hope even though you may be imperfect. But you need to grab a hold of your own life 1st. Start believing again!!!
I have come to realise that there are still some of you who do this to one another behind my back. The constant bickering and 'suan-ing'...
I have already addressed the B Girls on this matter. We are all team and a family. Do not always pinpoint other's mistakes and then say nasty things. This would destroy the team and the unity we have. It is the small actions (yes, even the non-verbal) that can kill the team spirit so watch what you say and do.
There has since been improvement since the last time I have spoken to all of you butI do not wish to see any of the old issues creeping in!!! If anyone is trying to create a rift and feels that they are ousted out, this is not acceptable. Do not group together to make a person left out nor do not adopt the victimised attitude to think they others are against you. If there needs to be things to trash out, I will step in to address. Learn to function as a team. There must be no bickering or gossip spreading!
If the setter cannot set properly, you as a spiker should still try to get the ball over. When you hit the ball into the net, you stare at the setter? No... Encourage one another. Build up and not tear down. I am not saying this is happening but I have seen the B Girls do it. That was why they played badly. In terms of the rest of the divisions, you must watch all these things. Never allow such things to creep in.
I find that the B Girls have finally understood how they have come so far together as a team. I see Eunice Kwek coming back to train. I am so delighted to see her come back, rejuvanated to train and more disciplined than before. I am not saying I do not see the others who have been faithful. It is just so heartwarming to see her 'lost' in her ways and come back.
The C Boys and Girls need to put aside their childish ways. When I say this, it is one for all and all for one. All of you are responsible for the team's success. There cannot be a hint of segregation. Please learn to be responsible when you put on that jersey or collar pin. You are part of a successful team but it does not come easy. It comes through commitment.
You all need to seriously reflect constantly your attitude toward training, teachers and coaches. There must not be an indifferent attitude. After all that the teachers and coaches do for you all, please appreciate them by putting in the 110% effort to train. We will push, we will scold... Why? I have already said, we do not want to set low expectations so that's why we push you all towards excellence. If you are ever indifferent, please leave...! Do not put on that jersey nor be a FMSS Volleyballer. Get out of the school because the school does not own you anything. What you have been given as C Division is due to the hard work of your seniors who fought hard to win matches and let you enjoy the priviledges you have now. You own the school everything if fact. FMSS is a good school. Trust me. I have taught elsewhere. FMSS may not be the best in every aspect but we are not a perfect school. Contentment comes from within. If you choose to look at the things to complain, it would be endless. Appreciate what you have been given and give your best to serve the school. Many are still hoping to come in our doors to be students.
As for the B Boys, you all have grown in spirit and unity as a team. Even MingJie has shown some maturity and finally, it is paying rich dividends. I need you all to know that you all need to put in the effort to taste success. I need you all to know we are a good team but we have been weak mentally. This is something weird of Fairsians, compared to those other schools. We are not as resilient and tough. We need to toughen up and be fierce, to fight and win. The B Boys have shown tremendous fight but they need to cajole one another on to reach greater heights. When one is down, rally around... You are the seniors of the school to the C Division. Set the high standards and be role models to them!
In many of the things that you all are getting as students, I never had them in my time as a student. I had no coaches, no indoor facilities to train (from Sec Sch to JC to Uni to even CSC - all outdoors), no training trips, no good equipment (our volleyball weighted a tonne - rubber texture ones), no nice jerseys, no sports shoes..... The list can go on... Sometimes, we injure ourselves and we only have the 6-7 players, we soldier on to train with our cuts, bruises, sprained fingers...
Nowadays, many complain and say that they cannot train because of this and that. I trained 5 times a week with my teammates. Whenever one person makes a mistake, we gave ourselves 10-20 pushups. We were super fit but we had no skills. We were super disciplined. Many times, our teacher did not even have time to train us. We practised on our own in the outdoor court. We had 20 odd balls that were smelly, weighed a tonne and we only had canvas shoes... We did not even have money to afford proper court shoes.
What is my point? Please work hard to train. I understand there are many things that demand our attention. Our personal commitments elsewhere. Soccer, captain's ball... Please do not injure yourselves during competition period. Play and injured and then say cannot train. Where then is the priority? I am not saying that you cannot have your fun but you need to know what is important. What your priorities are...
There are many things I wish to do on Saturdays or even the holidays. Why do I come back to school? Why do I spend my holiday to come back to school to see you all train? Why do I go to Bangkok every year to look after my volleyball students when I can go Batam to chill or Malaysia to shop? Why am I still single? My 'park-tor' time is spent on my lovely yet sometimes irritating 'kids'... (I will get married and find my girlfriend one. No worries... Reason I am still single is I need to answer some personal questions which I will write in another blog entry).
Trainings will be tough but work hard. Do not leave room for yourselves to regret in future, thinking: "We should have done this or we should have done that...!" There is only one chance to get it right and it is now! Give of your best now and strive for excellence. I would not love you all less if you all do not perform. I just wish to see you all perform to your fullest potential.
There is no I in team... There is only We in team. When one falls, all fall... When one suffers, all suffer... United we stand, divided we fall. This is a wise old saying and it is still true today. I hope when you all read my blog, go spread it to the rest of the members. I wish you all to think about such things... I will still talk to you all periodically but I just had so much thoughts & thinking recently... After all the talks and incidents, these are my conclusions and pleas.
Care in showing Love to the school, the team, the coaches, teachers, equipment and facilities...
Contentment by Complain not but appreciate more...
Change Mindset through Reflecting on own shortcomings & point not at others' fault...
Courage to Fight & press on to be the best that you can be...
Commitment to Common goal and Putting aside Personal Interest
Challenge Mediocrity and Strive for Excellence
My 6 C's for all of you... Think about it. Think about the team. Think of where you are. Think about what you can do and should do.
I have been silent in my blog for I have waited for something worthy of note to blog. 1 term has gone pass and as I looked back, I wondered about a few matters.
I fell sick on Friday night (last fri of the term) after I helped to train the new volleyball girls as no coaches were available. Then my body 'collapsed' in sickness. I felt cold and tired. I even had a temperature of 39 degrees when I went to see a doctor on the following saturday morning. No matter how many blankets I had or for the fact that I did not even switch on the fan (with my door to my room closed as well), I shivered in cold. As I looked back, why was it so?
It dawned upon me that I had struggled not to fall sick to keep the 'fort' running. What do I mean, in your language? It meant I tried all means not to fall sick for the sake of my form class and my volleyballers. I did not wish to try to play catch up in mathematics or other matters should I fall sick. Then for my volleyballers, it was competition season. There were many matters to look into and the rest of my CCA teachers were relatively new so I must guide them in the processes. Students who read these, competition means super many administrative matters, which you all have taken for granted.
For Volleyball CCA alone: Teachers must collect particulars, ensure that your EZ-links or passports are zapped, prepare payments for the matches, book bus, prepare jerseys, look at the fixtures and prepare the fixtures for the school (4 division), plan which teacher to go for which matches and ensure that normal lessons are not adversely affected, plan the early leave forms, send out various emails..... These are just for the CCA portion alone and I have not included that the teachers must plan relief duties for the respective subjects that they have to teach.
Am I trying to claim credit? No! I just hope students realise for themselves what the teachers have to do for you all. Please do not take things for granted. I find that it has been a trend of the present generation of students. They are not as appreciative of their teachers nor for anything. This is due to the complaining culture in Singapore. Everything must complain. They do not look at the good that people do but everything bad, they just pick it out and exaggerate it out of proportion, without 1st examining themselves.
Not that I am not guilty of that too but it's making a conscious effort to remember this principle. To this point, I remember one person in particular who falls badly into this catergory. He needs to learn to complain less of others and learn to reflect on himself. Not that I am trying to 'aim' him but I really hope he will learn to be a better person. He has a lot of potential to lead because he is a charismatic person but he needs to learn to do it the 'right' way. I hope he can change to be a better man. I trust he can!
Then I realised many CCAs have been thinking that the volleyballers are trying to make themselves the elite CCA in FMSS. Please do not get us wrong. It is not the case... If my students make you all feel this way, I am sorry for the image they potray. Volleyballers, please note that you all are not elites. We are all a family, a Fairfield family. We share our success. We have success, true but it is because of the support given by the other CCAs as well. Teachers behind students' backs have to work out the limited resources.
Netball and volleyball together, we have to share the parade square and the hall. Not that I do not wish to release the hall. I keep 'fighting' to keep the hall as much as I can so that we have a venue to train and not to impose the netball trainings on monday, wed and thursday. If I cannot train in the hall, I would have to move to the parade square and affect the netballers. In not being able to go out to train, I apologise to the badminton students too. I have tried to train outside but this is the case why we cannot. I have asked to book volleyball courts from the Singapore Sports Council (SSC). Their stand is that NO SCHOOLS ARE ALLOWED TO BOOK their facilities for volleyball training unless it is for competition and the request is placed in by the Principals of the school.
What this means is I cannot book Clementi Sports Hall or any other stadiums for that matter to train. During the whole entire year, the only other courts that are remotely possible are CCAB, SPANs and maybe Singapore Polytechnic. As you all know by now is that CCAB is always used for Basketball and Volleyball Competitions throughout the year. The courts are usually fully booked. Singapore Polytechnics or other varsities have been approached but they have their own trainings and their times do not suit ours. It has been tried for 3 years already with me 'hitting' the wall for all these 3 years.
Logistically, if I train at an external venue, I need to transport about 25-30 BALLS out to the venue, compared to shuttlecocks. Volleyball drills need to have that many balls to keep the drills running effectively. Can you imagine training with 10 shuttlecocks? When the coach trains, he needs to do drill and practice segments for many of the various sports. Imagine picking up the shuttles or balls every 1minute of drill. It is just not realistic.
I just want everyone to pause and think. We all play a part to contributing to the school's success. I have fiercely guarded my trainings because my season is from January to April for the B Division (Zonal and National) and C Division (Zonal). In July, we resume matches for the C Division (National). Thus, in June, we need to pick up the slack for the rest in May (due to the break for WHEEL week and other stuff). In season, most sports people will tell you, training for fitness is not the way to go. It is to practise formation, strategies to employ and tactical movements. Go ask any of your sports coaches. If they tell you otherwise, I think they are not really sound in their training methods.
If there is anyone to blame from the respective CCAs, it would be me, who guards the hall for my volleyballers to train. In October to December, we have another set of matches that we participate to gel the new teams (C players coming up to form the new B Division with the remaining players who have yet to graduate and hopefully any primary school players who will join in our C Division) together to prepare for the new season. Thus, we train again after the exams for matches. The time of intense physical training for the B Division is in June at the end of their season. For the C Division, their intense physical training will be in Jan. But as you can see, during these periods, my other divisions are training for matches. Basically, it is like the whole year round of competitions. I have 4 divisions to look into and we train 3 times a week for all divisions. I even have to place trainings on saturdays, which other CCA need not usually. This is so as to ensure that we are able to stay competitive.
Why do I force things so hard? Why? It is the passion for the sport! I also wish to give my students the chance to achieve success in their CCA. I have personally not been able to win anything during my time as a volleyballer because I did not have any coaches nor the proper facilities. We trained real hard on our own. We trained 5 days a week using the outdoor courts. When we did not serve over, we 'pumped' ourselves and punished ourselves. We did drills upon drills on our own. Even when it rained, I remembered we trained just so that we can win. I am not trying to put down other CCAs. Do not get me wrong. I wish to push my volleyballers to win and competition is getting very fierce nowadays.
I fight for their rights. I fight for things to give to my volleyballers. Volleyballers, please appreciate these things and do not take it for granted that they come naturally. Even for the overseas trip, there is a lot of work behind for the teachers to plan. They must source, plan, ask parents and 'waste' their holidays to go on such an additional trip. It is not that the volleyballers are elites but they are priviledged because I want to give them the exposure which I never had as a student or as a player. Now, do not get me wrong by saying the other teachers are not willing to do. Sometimes, they do not have the needed group size, the contacts needed to arrange.
I fight so hard at times that they have so many things and I think they feel that they are elites in the school. With that, I apologise on their behalf. I have to take the majority of the blame that sometimes they have become pampered. I am learning how to scold them and make them realise that they own the other CCAs an apology and not be so arrogant about themselves. Yes, true, we do get results.
This is due to the many sacrifices of the other CCAs and teachers. In getting the results, I know I must try to maintain them so that's why I am fighting so hard to maintain these results. Competition is getting more fierce out there and I must keep pushing out new 'inventions' to stay competitive. At the school level, much thought has been planned to ensure all things work out. The main key is also I am willing to propose and spend the extra time and effort to do it. I am a sports person. Sports is in my blood.
Thus, I fight for my own CCA, the CCA I am in charge of. Many times, students, teachers get 'locked' into arguements about how to bring their own CCAs forward. Your teachers are trying their best to make you all succeed. I have placed in a lot of effort in my CCA because I love it as my sport (I played since Sec 3 to University and took part in CSC games for a few years). True, I love soccer too but I am CCA teacher in charge of volleyball so I fight for my CCA's rights and not for soccer. It's the passion for my CCA.
All of a sudden, it seems that I am trying to make myself sound great... Please do not get mistaken. It is to say that I am the one that others should blame for the way that the hall is not being used by other CCAs. I fight hard to maintain it for my volleyballers use. I plan the many additional activities for them to take part to raise their standards. In the process, it might have made some feel big-headed. It is my fault as a CCA teacher to take them into discipline. I am not perfect. Never will I be but as I learn, I seek the understanding of those around.
Volleyballers, remember this... Appreciate the teachers you have. I do not mean me. Appreciate the school. Be examplary to all in the school. Do not think you are great and be 'yaya papaya'... You can achieve what you have because I fight for you all, other CCAs sacrifice and your very dedicated coaches (who are lowly paid compared to many other coaches out there). Do not always try to pinch your coaches of money and think they are rich. They work extremely long hours and they are not paid hourly. They are paid monthly. They work their socks off yet they will get the same amount, regardless of their hours.
Why are they working so much then? For the love of the sport and for the affection to the school. They have spent a good 4years or so coaching FMSS. They love the school even though all of them are from SQS. They want you all to succeed. They push you all hard. I give them the permission to. The process to success is hard and many times, you all may feel like the coaches are fierce. I made them do it to make you all perservere on. Appreciate them... They love you all and they want the best for you.
You must always know this. We all have your best interests at heart though we may not always know how to show them. There are times we have to discipline when you step out of line. This is in accordance to the Bible as well.　The Lord disciplines those He loves. We love you all and that is why we discipline you all. Do we get paid more if you all get Top 4? No! We do not. Then why then do we push so hard? For the glory? If you know us, it's not about the awards though we set targets. Without targets, people become lost and settle for mediocrity. Standards are to be maintained and expected.
Life is about discipline and standards. Many people just give up and feel that since it is so difficult, they rather give up. Excellence is achieved by keeping high standards and having discipline. Noone goes through life not getting scolded. If you ask me, I have been scolded countless of times for the way I do things or say things but I learn. I press on but I still do not give up fighting for the rights of my people.
Hang in there and fight for success. It is for your own growth... You may not see it now but press on. Appreciate what you have and do not always compare with others... You are where you are because of others, not in a blaming sense but in that we all help one another succeed to the best of our abilities...
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Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
