1. Students give up easily and there is little or no resilience. Why? Fear of failure or fear of hardship. Since I am might fail, I might as well fail without trying. The process is so hard, I rather give up. Do these thoughts come through my mind? Yes, they do! Sometimes, I lose heart to teach because of various reasons. I feel like giving up. In the end, I hang on. Why? Because I see the potential I have to change lives. I rediscover my passion, I rediscover who I am and why I need to do what I do. I am not a saint but I know I love my students and wish them to grow. Sometimes, they irritate me and I do not know how I can carry on. I do face all these things. Another reason why these students give up is an indifferent attitude. I do not want to be so 'on'... Later, I will stand out as KS or a sore thumb. Please la... You work hard for your own good. Why bother what others think? It's your future! Do not settle for mediocrity. FMSS is a good school and many of the students are so smart. They do not fulfill their potential because they have so many various reasons. They lose faith in themselves. They hate the teacher. They are afraid to fail (so might as well not try in the 1st place - disappointment lesser)... They will find a million and one reason to justify their failures... Please work hard and perform because many of you are wasting the potential you have. Have that vision of who you can be and strive towards it. We do not succeed immediately. Make small steps towards it.
2. Many students are not content. Complain about this and that. The school sucks, the teachers suck, the work sucks.... Everything is worth complaining about. Even I am guilty of this at times... We need to learn to thank God for the situation. It could be worse...! FMSS is not perfect, the teachers are not perfect but we are all trying to make it better. As students, try to make our lives easier as well. Teachers never want to make your lives miserable. We have to uphold standards and enforce rules. Discipline is not out of punishment. It is out of love. We can allow you to rot away but why do we scold? Why do we punish? It wastes a lot of energy on our part. Understand that... Appreciate the things you have. Find things to appreciate. If we complain and keep saying things like this sucks or that sucks, there will never be contentment. I am also learning to do that too. Let's learn that so that we can move together to appreciate the school and the people in the school and for all the things we have and face.

There are many more things I can write about but these 2 are the most pressing. Let's love one another and the environment we are in. Let's be the best we can be in our roles. Let's not settle for mediocrity. I am learning to be the best teacher I can be in my own ways. I am definately not there. There are people out there who hates me still. However, I cannot please everyone also. I will try my best to do the things that my principles guide me. Of course, if my principles are wrong, I must reflect and change la....

To my form class, 2B, work hard! I believe a lot of you have the potential to do well but a lot of you have lost the confidence...! Also, a lot of you lack the discipline and drive because of the past failures you face. Do not worry... Work harder and clear your doubts with the teachers. Do not hate the 'bad' teachers... Learn to find things to appreciate about them. Learn to love one another. I do not mean BGR love. I mean taking care of one another and caring for one another, putting aside differences and working together. I love all the classes I teach. I do get angry and I hope you all learn to be better people. Try not to irritate me as much and learn to do your best, in handing your work, forms and all things on time. Do not make me chase you all... Also, those weaker students, come and look for the teachers to study. Do not give up on yourselves and the school.

I am not a saint. I cannot save everyone. The only one capable of that is God... He saved us all and make us, the ugly, unlovely, lousy .... into something worthwhile. That's why I hold this belief that all are possible to be saved. However, they must want to be saved, else noone can save them. Save them from EMO, from depression, from feeling lousy about themselves....

I am just writing a lot today because I have been feeling a lot of things recently due to the series of things I have faced in FMSS ever since I became a teacher here. It is indeed a testing yet rewarding career. The money? No way!! It's never the money... Haha... In the coporate world, I may have surbordinates but not 40 times 13 of them that make my blood boil at various times. In the 'bosses' department, there will be unhappiness at times but we work through our things professionally. Life is never perfect. It is making the most of our imperfect lives and hopefully leaving a legacy behind. All will turn to dust and disappear when I step into my coffin (as in people put me in when I die - for those whose ang mo a bit lousy one...), nothing material is left behind but the intangible things are there.

When I see students appreciate me, I am happy enough... I do not even think of any gifts. When my class sang me a happy b'day song and made a card for me, I was moved to tears. Some wrote me touching letters, blog entries and so on. Thank you for appreciating me. I love you all. Even the not so lovely ones, I love you all too. You all sometimes irritate the hell out of me but I will say this: I love you all too. Try to irritate me less, k? I do not expect you all to change overnight but learn to change...

I am so patient because I have been through that 'lost' road. I have gotten EMO. I have resisted working hard because I failed and lost confidence. I have also gotten into lousy relationships and came out of them hurt. I have also tasted threats in school. I have also gotten in fights (as early as primary school). I have also been rejected many times (I used to be ah gong one who don't know anything about BGR and I looked really NOOB at chasing gals). I also did not look as 'handsome' as I do now. I wore black-rimmed spectacles and was a nerd. Study la... Else, you wanna become road sweeper huh? I had leukemia and almost died but I survived it. I was ridiculed by others and suffered many emotional scars. (Gangs mah... Smoking mah... Porn mah... Occult mah... Drinking mah... Sucidal mah... Hurting self mah... Vulgarity filled language mah... - I would not say I have engaged in ALL of such things! Some I came close, some I did... You ownself guess...) Some of the above, I have seen my friends gone those ways... They suffered... Some got pregnant (gals). Some have battle scars... Some have gone to prison... Some have wasted their lives....

Life is worth living for...! Many times, we waste away our lives for we have not found what we need to live and love for. We have lost sight of the hope of life. We feel that it is to grow old, have a family then die. If things get tough, we split ways, no need for commitments... Life is not so hopeless... There is hope...! For me, it is God! I do not deny sometimes I do wish to shout out and give up! SIAN...! I have kept going after many falls... I have had many setbacks but I am still going on because I believe in what I am doing. To help many lives. They may not become christians but I wish to put hope into their lives to find meaning in what they are living this life for! Live for yourself! Live to be a better person. Live to give of your life to others who may need it more than you. There are many out there who needs you! Give hope to others. Live a life of legacy! Make a difference in your own ways. It may not be big. Look around you. There are many friends out there who you can bring hope to... They are closer than you think. Be a hope even though you may be imperfect. But you need to grab a hold of your own life 1st. Start believing again!!!