Monday, May 01, 2006
It's been so long since I blogged again...! Life has been up & downs, mainly busy & busy...! One wave havent subside, another wave up!
Recently, just sense God starting to do a work in my life. A lot of the old hurts and pains, God is resurfacing. Things of past, things of old. Self-image tattered, bruised and battered by repeated abuse in the past. Coping with it the only way I knew how was to rationalise my feelings or to suppress them.
I know God wants to liberate me and free me from my past. I am fearful to contend with these old hurts and feelings that I have kept with me all these years. Even the awareness of their existence makes me shudder. However, I know that if I do not allow changes to happen and God to heal my past, I would be emotionally crippled. How so?
I would then not be secure and I would do a lot to prove myself, either to others or to self. If I cannot be secure, how can I be a lover? Not just in terms of BGR but a man who genuinely care about anything or anyone?
Had a good talk till about 1am with Chaoyang, Jiajun and Basia. Really apprehensive yet kinda excited that there would be breakthrough in my life but it's gonna be a tough journey.
On a lighter note, last night after service, I suggested a crazy thing. Told the guys to hide and run away from Basia after dinner. After dinner, we went to the toilets, then we decided to play a prank on Basia. When she came out of the toilet, she went searching for us as we manuvered around vehicles or whatever cover we could find to escape her detection. Pure craziness. Last did this years ago. Everyone had a good laugh including some passer-bys who were amused at adults playing such games.
Well, ending off for now but I will be back to serious blogging...
What Kind of Girl Will You Fall For? | |
 | You will fall for the cutie. You like girls with a personality. She's got to have a nice smile and a sense of humor. Although she doesn't have to be a model, she has to be that girl-next-door. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
